Prints in the Dust
by PeppermintBabe
Summary: Sometimes all you have left are prints left in dust and a handful of broken flowers. Babe. *High Angst*


**Prints in the Dust**

By Adora

I gathered the flowers in my hand. White roses. I closed my door and headed to the elevator. When the doors opened I saw you there. I lowered my eyes and made you disappear. I turned to the stairs.

I heard your voice in my head at each step I took. I gripped the railing tightly and continued on. I straightened my black dress remembering how much you liked it when I first bought it.

I said hello to you when I saw you leaning against my car. I watched you fade away the closer I got, and then disappear when I started to drive away.

I stopped at a light and looked around. I saw the bench we sat upon, and smiled at the thought of you kissing me.

I looked at the roses on the seat beside me. Lonely, white, and depressing. I pictured a single red rose instead.

I started driving again. I pulled to the side of the road when I saw a black car following me. Then I drove back when I realized it wasn't you. It couldn't be you.

The bonds office looked the same as it always did. I could see Connie in there sitting at the desk. I could see Lula talking, waving her arms in the air.

My gaze shifted to the alley and my body trembled remembering your touch. I drove on.

I pulled into the garage of your building and sat there for a while. I looked at the elevator and saw you coming out. You walked to me and got into my car, putting on your black Seals cap that I always leave on my dash now. You grinned before leaving.

I got out of the car and circled the truck, the Cayenne, and the Turbo. I laid my palms flat on their hoods imagining they were still warm from your use. My hands left prints in the dust.

I got back in the car and drove on. I saw Tank in my rearview mirror and he was giving me a sad smile. I opened my window and waved to him before moving on.

I brought the flowers to my lap and lightly touched the petals. Caressing them, as if they were you.

I envisioned your smile and I smiled too.

I passed by the hospital and a collage of images invaded my mind. _Stitches. Gun shots. Scrog. Hal. Tank. Sorrow. Relief. You. _

I drove on making my way into the cemetery. I passed a headstone and I slowed down to watch how you encased me in your arms while I cried. The tears in my eyes made the picture fade way.

I drove a little further and slowly got out of the car. I put your Seals cap on my head and walked over to you.

You were leaning against the headstone and you greeted me like you always did. _"Babe."_

Every year it's always the same. I come here to see you, to talk to you, to tell you things that I didn't, like I should have done before. I fall to my knees and the flowers slip from my hands. My shoulders shake and I sob. I feel your arms holding me tightly.

"_You never disappoint."_

I cursed you and smacked you away. I was showered with white and sobbed harder when I realized I destroyed your flowers. I took the broken flowers and clenched them in my hands. I slammed them against your grave over and over and over again.

"I love you! I love you! I love you! I _loved _you, and I never got the chance to tell you."

I gathered the loose petals and cried at the mess I made at your beautiful grave. I draped myself over your grave believing that I was hugging you. I apologized through my tears and when I pulled away I saw a hand being held out to me. At first I thought it was you, but then I realized it was Tank. He helped me up as I stumbled not letting your grave out of my sight. He held me and I cried, wanting it to be you who was holding me.

He guided me back to the car and I saw you standing there. You removed your trademark sun glasses and grinned at me.

Unconsciously I asked, "What's that grin for?"

"_It's the grin of a man who loves you, Babe." _You answered. I came undone. I never got the chance to tell you I love you. I fought Tank's arms and ran back to your grave screaming for you to come back, but you were already walking away.

I screamed out to you: "I love you!"

You turned around and nodded then placed the sun glasses back on your face. Pointing to my hat you told me "_That's a righteous hat, live up to it." _Then you walked away and I had a feeling that this time, this year, I wouldn't see you again.

_This was for you James. I love you and I hope you knew that before you were taken. I miss you. So much._


End file.
